You don’t really need Doc Brown’s help, though do you? That Pete Ricketts ad is still stuck in your head! (Ah, just for the heck of it, here’s the YouTube link.)
So just to refresh, Farmer Ben Nelson claimed on his tax break application that he was farming land out on his Platte River compound. He claimed he was a farmer because he had some wild turkeys out there that he kept around just long enough to kill. Except that in reality, none of the land was actually being used for farming.
Nelson (an attorney and member of the Senate Ag Committee) claimed ignorance to this confuuuusing paper…but, never paid the back taxes for which he was given a break. (“Yes Your Honor, I robbed the bank, but seeing as you didn’t catch me then, I’m keeping all the money I got.”)
Well, guess who has authored an amendment to the Senate Farm Bill on pretend farmers! Yes, Farmer Nelson now wants to stop people from benefiting for pretend-farming!
Except now, instead of saying he wants to get rid of “Pretend Turkey Farmers” he says he wants to get rid of “Cowboy Starter Kits”.
Let’s let Farmer…er…Cowboy Nelson office explain it:
“These are former pieces of farm land that have been subdivided into large residential tracts that have yards big enough to, for example, keep a horse on. In these cases, you might have a house on one acre of a ten acre parcel and the residential owner is getting payments for the other nine acres. Of course, none of the land is actually being used for farming.”
(Nelson to end USDA’s paying non-farmers farm payments – Aglines – 11/13/07 – emphasis added).
Just to repeat that, he wants to stop cheaters when “none of the land is actually being used for farming.”
Next thing we’re going to hear Nelson is writing a bill to ban people from using Brylcream and getting bad dye-jobs.
We’re looking forward to the “Cowboy Nelson” ads soon. Maybe Nelson can pay for them with the tax breaks he kept.