OK that title may be sexist (or is it “sexy“?), but we couldn’t resist. Just too damn clever. In any case, do you wish you were at the Convention last night? Well, our man in the Twin Cities was. Let’s hear the latest from Jordan McGrain:
6:25 – And we’re live from the Xcel Center in beautiful downtown Minneapolis, with nary a protester in sight! I’m sure they are laying in wait for the festivities to conclude, where they can then lob bleach, urine, and feces at conventioneers as we exit the building. Sorta reminds me of my high school graduation in good ole Council Bluffs.
6:40 – Before I forget, I want to promise that my posts will no longer include gratuitous plugs for my new business and website, www.MaverickPolitical.com. Just won’t happen.
6:52 – al Jazeera is in the house. Their media suite is the second-worst in the building – they can barely see the speaker’s podium from where they sit. Only one other media outlet is in worse shape. Any guesses? You got it. MSNBC.
6:58 – Roll Call is reporting that Governor Dave Heineman is on the short list to serve as Secretary of Agriculture in a (now probable) McCain Administration. That goes to show the level of respect for our Governor in political circles near and far. In a related story, Lt. Governor Rick Sheehy just fainted and has been rushed to the Emergency Room for fluids and observation.
7:05ish – Former Maryland Lt. Governor (and pal of AG Jon Bruning) Michael Steele has just taken the stage and was given a rousing ovation by the delegation. I was wandering the third floor of the arena, so I’m not quite sure what he said, but it was probably wicked awesome.
7:15 – And speaking of Nebraska’s Attorney General, some of you may know that I served as campaign manager during his recent bid for United States Senate, guiding him all the way to an early withdrawal in November of 2007. So, I’m not exactly an unbiased source when it comes to Jon Bruning.
But let me say this; I’ve had the opportunity to travel with Bruning during the convention, and there’s not an event in this town where he doesn’t immediately know half the people in the room. Elected officials, business leaders, decision makers all know and love the man. They know and care about Nebraska because they know and respect Jon Bruning. He’s built a nation-wide network and ultimately, that’s good for Nebraska. Heineman, Bruning, Treasurer Shane Osborn and Congressman Adrian Smith have been remarkable ambassadors for our state out here.
Think I’ll get any negative feedback for that little ditty? Nah.
7:35 – I’ve now been told that, as a condition of his early support, Ben Nelson told Barack Obama that Chuck Hagel should not, could not and would not be called to serve in a new democrat administration. That pretty much solves the Hagel as Secretary of Anything question. Nelson is also rumored to be interested in the Ag Secretary job which would leave the senate seat ready for appointment. What a blood bath that process would be. I know who my money is on.
8:01ish – Standing ovation for Mitt Romney, my original choice for president. Mitt focuses on the economy and energy – two specialties of his. His plan for energy conservation includes “keeping Al Gore’s private jet on the ground.” Republicans, your red meat is served.
8:10 – Mitt is noticeably more comfortable and confident in front of this crowd, his best speech since the last days of the Michigan Primary. If we had seen this Romney in January, he might be giving the last speech tomorrow night instead.
8:25ish – Mike Huckabee takes the stage. I’ve heard he’s ticked at me for making fat jokes. I’m sorry Governor, I kid because I care.
8:32ish – Huckabee on Palin; “I’m so tired of the other side saying she has no experience. Sarah Palin got more votes for Mayor of Wasilla, Alaska than Joe Biden got for President of the United States.”
Huckabee is good, man. Obviously Nebraska political guru Jessica Moenning wrote his speech tonight.
8:45 – Do you know that, for the most part, I’ve typed every single word of these daily reports on my BlackBerry? Take that, Kyle Michaelis! Not only am I better looking, but I am also a master of the mini-keyboard. Did that blow your mind? That just happened. I know for a fact that NE GOP Treasurer Rod Krogh is impressed, as he should be.
I’m kidding, Kyle. You are still my favorite wacky, misguided, loony liberal blogger. Let’s get together soon to share war stories over a mango smoothie.
9:00 – Here comes Rudy. I’m not sure how to tell you this, but he’s kind of a big deal. And I don’t feel the need to comment on the next two speeches, since I assume that anyone interested in this blog is probably watching them on Fox News anyway.
9:23 – If this election were to decide on a Smart-Ass in Chief, Rudy would win in a landslide. I’d like to think that I would be a clear choice for his running mate.
9:28 – Rudy killed it. I would put his up against any of the speeches from last week that got Stephanopolous all moist. In fact, Keith Olbermann, confident Rudy would blow it but dismayed at the turn of events, just punched Chris Matthews in the face and pitched him over the side of the MSNBC suite. Even the al Jazeera guys were horrified.
9:32 – Enter Governor Sarah Palin, stage right. She’s been on the floor for all of twenty seconds, and I can already tell that the GOP is about to win the unwinnable election in 2008.
10:05 – Palin dazzled ‘em, Olbermann’s head exploded. News at 11.
10:10ish – As a father of three, including an 8-month old girl, I’m not afraid to say that I got a little misty when Governor Palin grabbed hold of her baby and held him in the middle of the stage as the world looked on. If it had that impact on me, imagine the impact on my wife, and all the other mothers around the country.
I think we’ve got this thing. Nice pick, Team McCain.
10:47 – My wife Anna is furious that both MSNBC and, curiously, Chris Wallace of Fox News felt the need to remind folks that a man wrote Sarah Palin’s speech. Did they mention last week that Obama’s speech was written by a white guy? My wife feels like the sexism on display vs. Palin is far, far greater than any racism pointed at Barack Obama. Keep it up, MSM. You are about to royally piss off every possible swing-voter in this country.
11:30 – There’s no logical segue here, so I’ll just say that we’re now headed to the One Campaign party featuring former American Idol finalist now multi-platinum recording star Chris Daughtry. Hopefully our progress is not impeded by the 2,000 or so protesters who’ve gathered at the Target Center and have since been tear-gassed by local riot control and the Minnesota SWAT team.
As Carlos Castillo would say, “I don’t think I’ll be making the breakfast in the morning.”