Meisterious ways…

Democrat Gubernatorial Candidate Mike Meister has an ad out.

Well, in theory anyway. Here is the video:

Now, we THINK this is Meister.
But we are really not sure.

He never identifies himself.
He never says his name.
He never says that he is running for Governor.
And he never tells us anything about himself.

So this is how Mike Meister is introducing himself to the state? With a mishmashed attack ad?

And it really is a convoluted spot in so many ways. Let’s pick a few.

***

First, what’s with the outfit? The rolled up sleeves and suspenders? Oh, we get it. He is going for the whole “country lawyer” look.

Well, we liked it better when it was done by Newman on Seinfeld.

OK, so let’s hit one more visual before we get to what he is trying to say.

What are these (yellow circled) things?

Are they supposed to represent something?
Are we supposed to take out eyes off of what he is saying and look at them?  Or the numbers he is pointing at?  Or the arrows?  Do they represent something that he is talking about?

Ya follow?

It’s called clutter kids. And when you can’t even make-out what it is, then it’s more like jetsam.

So, because we are here to help, we have zoomed in on them.

 

OK, we get the first one. An Uncle Sam hat. And….it is…hmm…well, we guess it is the federal stimulus money from “Uncle Sam.” Gotcha.  Sorta.

OK, so the next one. This one took us a while.

At first we thought it was some sort of nude figurine next to a rock.
Maybe Patrick Star?
A melted broken heart?

After much zooming an considering, we finally figured it out.
It’s a broken piggy bank! Get it! The “cash reserves” were in a piggy bank and then it was perfectly cracked in half, like an egg, and the then the two halves were put back next to each other except a piece is missing.

Or something. Anywho, it’s One Big Distraction.

***

So, onto whatever else he is trying to say (and we say “he”, meaning “the man in the video”, who may or may not be Mike Meister).

So first he says that “In six years Dave Heineman has grown his budget 29%.

So, now it is “his” budget? Well, there’s an interesting take. And wait a minute, 29% goes up at a 45 degree angle on that chart? And there are 7 bars on that six year chart! And the arrow just keeps going! Does that mean Heineman gets to keep governing? Well, thanks there, mister.

So back to the little math test — and this one took us even longer than the broken vase pig.

He talks about the $1.17 billion, then has a bunch of numbers below that, that come up to $1.559 billion.

And the whole time we’re thinking, “Wait, 1.17B + 554 M + 254 M + 751M doesn’t equal 1.559B…”

Because we heard him say, “…his budget would be a lot bigger than 751 million dollars”.

Wait, $1.117B IS bigger than $751M.

So, we listened, and listened, and played it backwards a few times, ran it through a dictaphone and finally enhanced it with some tin cans and twine.

And what he actually says — No, MUMBLES — is, “…his budget HOLE would be a lot bigger…”.

Except that it doesn’t sound like, “budget hole would”.  It sounds like, “budgehowooh”.

So sue us (country lawyer) for not understanding this scholarly diatribe.

***

And then there’s the big finish. Er…non-sequitur.

Because at the end, as he approaches the screen (and we are expecting him to tell us to “Snap into a Slim Jim!”)…

…he yells at us, “Where’s our money Dave!”

Um…because…THAT is what that whole math problem was about?

The gist of the ad (we will help you here) is that the Governor would have a bigger shortfall were it not for the stimulus. So, we know already that “our money” is in that first part of the budget, right?

It’s not like he was saying, “Our taxes are super high, but the money has all disappeared!” That’s not his point. So the “where’s our money” has nothing to do with anything in this ad.

And then he flips the board and stalks away…

Showing…what it that? Is that the team logo?

WE see a sort of “MEISTER” but under that it seems to say “COVEKNUR”.

And then under that, it’s a huge “B” BOYLE (hey who is the top of the ticket here?), and that person seems to be up for “LT, COVERHOX”.

(Here’s a crazy idea guys: use your dumb chalk drawing, but fade it into your actual logo on the screen. Hire some kid with a Mac.)

You know, but other than all that, awesome spot.

(Oh, and we liked the original one starring Richard Carter a lot better.)

46 comments

  1. RWP says:

    I spend most my working life doing math, and I have no idea what point he's trying to make here. Why is he adding next year's budget hole to last year's stimulus and some indeterminate year's cash reserve?

    Here's a much more concrete budget question; with $16,000 in the bank, how is anyone going to see this ad. if they don't seek it out on YouTube?

  2. Macdaddy says:

    Does Mr. Meister not realize that Nebraska has to have a balanced budget? The "budget hole" will have to be closed somehow. Heineman has already said he will not do it through tax increases, but through budget cuts. How will Mr. Meister close that budget hole?

    Oh, he gave us the answer: anybody who wastes that much chalk sure isn't going to cut the government spending.

  3. Sen. Scott Lautenbaugh says:

    Kenny–

    Funny you should say that. I was in Lincoln recently. An older gentleman approached me and said "Mr. Meister– I just want to wish you the best of luck in your race. I hope you win! I'm the guy who played the harmonica for you in the parade Saturday!"

    I thanked him for his kind words, and off he went.

    So, you're not alone.

  4. Anonymous says:

    I just checked, there is still not a voter named Gerard Harbison that is registered to vote in Nebraska. Hurry up and register!

  5. Anonymous says:

    As Jerry S. used to say, "Who was the ad wizard who figured out THIS one?!?!"

    I'm guessing the strategy here is to sneak into schools and give the spiel during parent/teacher conferences.

  6. Anonymous says:

    Nearly as hilarious as this ad and the resulting Sweeper commentary was Frank Brown's quote to Scott Voorhees this AM regarding the election of Ben Gray and if he congratulated Ben on his election:

    Brown: "He didn't call to congratulate me on my loss."

    To quote another: "You're doing a heck of a job, Brownie."

    Please go away and put us out of your misery.

  7. Anonymous says:

    I have to give Meister credit. He took a Glen Beck idea and did it right. He did not lie or blow smoke up our wazoo. He just very simply told us the truth . With out Obama's money our state budget is a mess. Yes we will have to make massive cuts. What cuts? The republicans will make cuts that hurt the average every day person. The democrats will try to spread it about and make the super rich pay their fair share. That is the difference between republicans and democrats. The republicans only care about the big money people. Democrats care about people.

  8. Anonymous says:

    yup dem's care about people. Not whether those people have jobs or such nope, them's dems just figure they can keep em on da food stamps, and in Govment housing. Won'ts have to pay for no gas, heck not even a car.

    I suspect Warren Buffet and his buddies along with Holland feel real bad and will be sending in a a little bigger check to help out?

    Oh wait do it all with money from people who have jobs, own small comapanies that employ the people. NOT FROM THE SUPER RICH DEM's.

    The whole Trickle up Poverty is going to get a sound whuppin come Nov 2!!

  9. Anonymous says:

    Tom White- You should know a bad add when you see one. Heck I had people telling me just tonight that while they were wondering if they were going to vote for Terry this time out or not, they knew after your spot.

    Hell NO they won't be voting for YOU! Thanks for throwing votes to Terry! You are one of his best motivators. heehe Dummass

  10. Anonymous says:

    1) That ad was horrible.
    2) Anon 8:12 PM, Democrats don't care about people, only about making government bigger.
    3) Anon 10:25, Republicans don't care about people, only about increasing profits for their secret contributors.

    To Recap:
    Democrats: Give us all your money, we know what's best for you.
    Republicans: Give the corporations all your money, they'll sprinkle it with free trade fairy dust, and jobs will magically appear……in Mexico.

    I think I better learn Chinese.

  11. Anonymous says:

    Anoa. 6:55

    You got a lot of it right. You might study what the democratic party is doing and did do. Don't listen to the right wing myths. Most of the good life that you have is a result of the democratic party. Yes some abuses have happened. This country is 300 million different people. But the democratic party cares about people like you. If the republicans get to start their reign of terror again. Learning Chinese will be the least of your worries. I do get a kick out of the republicans saying we learned our lesson we won't do it again. When their MO is they always do it. They always favor the rich. They never balance budgets. The same old apple dumpling cluster gang wants to rob you again. Don't let them.

  12. Anonymous says:

    I see Bud continues to post as anonymous here. Already on Leavenworth Street at 7:20 this morning, Bud? Sounds like a pretty healthy obsession.

  13. Anonymous says:

    I see Bud continues to post as anonymous here. Already on Leavenworth Street at 7:20 this morning, Bud? Sounds like a pretty healthy obsession.

  14. Anonymous says:

    Speaking of obsessions, anonymous at 4:56 has a really UNhealthy one regarding this Gerard Harbison fellow and weather he's registered to vote or not.

    Good grief, you psycho, let it go. No one in the world cares. Except, apparently, you. Please take your John Hinkley/Jody Foster fixation and check yourself into Richard Young, mkay?

  15. Anonymous says:

    Was the rino Ashford quoted correctly in the paper this morning saying he was against the recall because it would get in the way of his plan to find other ways to tax Omahans?

    -Charles

  16. Anonymous says:

    "And then he flips the board and stalks away…" ?

    I'd have gone into a little more detail: "And then he flips the board and stalks away, shaking his head in disgust, perhaps at the humiliation of being in this horrible ad for a doomed campaign going nowhere with a running mate even less appealing that Tom White."

    Or: "And then he flips the board and stalks away, shaking his head in disgust BUT OFFERING NO CLUE AS TO WHAT HE WOULD HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY, WHAT SPENDING HE WOULD HAVE FOREGONE, MUCH LESS WHAT SPENDING HE WOULD HAVE CUT DIFFERENTLY, ETC., because the ad is nonsensical and/or (OK– "and") he doesn't know what he's talking about."

    Just some thoughts. (I know– "Go get your own blog." etc.)

  17. Anonymous says:

    To answer the shouted question, by the way, of "Where's our money, Dave?," if he's referring to the alleged 29% growth, it's almost all inflation, I'd wager. The growth of the budget in real terms (adjusted for inflation) has been largely flat. If Mr. Meister doesn't understand this, or thinks the Governor of NE can control inflation, well then maybe that should have stuck with Lakers.

  18. Anonymous says:

    Looks like all the D's are trying to do is to get the Gov to spend more money so there is less left to do other work with.

    Of course now it only means the Gov will have a reason to raise more money than he would ever have to spend. Result is a net gain in this financial position. Which would then allow him to do MORE. The whole idea of economics just seems to escape the average hate monger.

    —–

    So Sen Ashford wants to take in the CIR? Interesting, the prof will be in who he supports and or appoints to the the Business & labor Committee that is run by a Trial Lawyer, Steve Lathrop. If there is a majority of libs on the committee there will be little chance of any significant change to the CIR.

    ——–

    Meister has really damaged the Nebraska Democrat brand! Who will come in from the liberal desert and lead the 30% of Nebraskans back to relevance?

    I suspect it will have to be someone from OUTSIDE the Omaha/Lincoln area.

  19. Anonymous says:

    So an elderly lady gets crushed by an elevator at a Democrat event in North Platte and they don't even issue a press release expressing their condolances? Heartless.

  20. amie says:

    Except for Meister being chunkier, that ad was vastly superior to Richard Carter's. I mean, it was obvious done with more equipment than a handheld camera (sounds like they even got a microphone!).

    I'm not voting for Meister, but it does raise some interesting points, unlike that god-awful Richard Carter ad. That ad is oversimplified. He takes a law with major economic implications and simply said "Tom White would have spent billions of dollars!!1"

  21. Street Sweeper says:

    Oh, well then apparently Newman nailed it.
    Did Meister get out of the speeding ticket by showing that Kramer was heartbroken because he never got to be a banker?

  22. Grundle King says:

    Indeed, the similarity between Meister and Newman in those pictures is amazing…to quote Zap Brannigan, "I'm seeing double!!!"

  23. Anonymous says:

    Anon 12:34 that lady later died. But it was a Democrat candidate Mark Stoj who saved her at first. Then came the rescue crew that brought her back to life. It is sad that she died later on. How about some kudos for Stoj saving her? The democratic party did a prayer for her at their meeting Saturday. They have sent a letter to her family. How about knowing the facts before you make fun of some one who eventually died. No more FOX news type reporting. You have to have some honor sooner or later and tell the truth. Glen Beck is not a good role model.

  24. Anonymous says:

    Woke up in a bad mood today. Here it is Friday, bout 36 hrs till kick-off and I am Ticked!!!

    I'm tired of this election cycle. I'm tired of all the calls, and mailers.

    Tom White is going to lose, along with hundreds of other democrats running across this country. The Repuplicans are going to win big because they are going to show up and VOTE.

    Thousands of citizens have registered here in Nebraska since the Primary. I think the message is clear…… Don't sit this one out!!!

    Less than 20 days and our lives will be better, the financial sector will calm down, and we can get back to the work of rebuilding our Great Nation.

    Oh and Meister- Puuuhhh leeease! Really?

  25. Anonymous says:

    Have you seen or heard some of the nut cases the tea baggers and the republicans are running for public office? Scary? Where do they find these nuts? The Barbarians are at the gate. They want to get rid of social security, medicare, the minimum wage. They don;t think woman or minorities should have equal rights or equal pay. They want to get rid of the 14, 16. 17, amendments. The only one of the Bill of rights they care about is the 2nd. They would have no problem in using violence to get their way if these elections do not go their way. They think it is a great idea to send American jobs overseas. The buyer beware philoposphy is a great idea if you listen to them talk. They yell socialism any time some ones ideas to not fit their middle ages way of thinking. In 2008 we took our country back from those who drove the country into the ditch in every way possible. This November those same fools ask for your vote. Most Americans again I believe will say HELL NO!!

  26. Anonymous says:

    The tea baggers have bad ideas. No doubt. That is why the regular guy republican is voting for Democrast this time. Nebraska is lucky we don't have any tea party candidates that have a chance at winning. The republican candidates are numskulls while the democrats have too small of a base to win in Nebraska.

  27. Macdaddy says:

    Did the voices in your head tell you to write those last 2 posts or do you get paid extra for an extraordinarily outrageous comment? I'm beginning to think the trolls here are actually Republican plants.

  28. Anonymous says:

    735, you are just plain old stupid and if you think ANYONE believes, or even understands, what you typed this morning, you are crazy too.

    Where in the Hell did you get a crazy idea like the Tea Party doesn't like blacks or women? Last time I checked, many of "their" candidates AKA the Republican candidate, are women and in Florida, their is a fine, retired military officer running (and, fortunately for no one else but you, he happens to be black).

    So, sorry to ruin a perfectly shitty friday for you, but trying to destroy others with lies is about to get the Democrats sent to the cooler for a long time!

  29. Anonymous says:

    And kudos to Stoj for his quick thinking and actions on behalf of that poor woman that was injured.

    Believe me, I am a partisan as they get, but the comment about the Dum Party and this sad experience was in the worst taste.

    While everyone is having a good thought for the woman and her family, we should all have a good thought for Stoj and his family for trying to help-instinctively.

    And I did just call you the Dum Party-just look around at yourselves.

  30. Anonymous says:

    The Tea baggers are going nuts. They don't want their secret plan to ruin America to be exposed until after the election. That is why you only see them on FAUX news . They can't answer questions asked by professionals on real networks.

  31. Macdaddy says:

    Don't look now, Anon 9:01, but the Tea Party candidate in the Nevada Senate race just cleaned Dingy Harry's clock in a debate, but I'm sure that was just part of some Master Plan to take over the world and Harry Reid is in on it. BTW, are you sure you got enough tin-foil on your head? Your medulla oblongata is showing.

  32. Hannibal Lecter says:

    Anonymous at 8:30,

    If you are going to classify an entire segment of our population as lacking in intellect, you might want to learn how to spell the word "dumb." But, then again …

  33. Anonymous says:

    Dear Hanny, it would be Dum, as in Dum-Dum-you know, the suckers?

    But, since it was a play on the "Dem Party", it doesn't really matter how it is spelled because it is a made up word to make fun of YOU!!

    Geesh, it's really exhausting explaining things to stupid people.

    I am officially requesting that SS delete all comments posted by people that are too dumb to understand any of the other comments that other people have posted.

  34. Hannibal Lecter says:

    I agree with you Anonymous 4:34.

    Sweeper, would you please delete the comment immediately preceding this one. It's author is obviously a "moran."

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