We are less than three weeks out from a brutal primary season where we will four or six or something Republicans running for the GOP Senate nom.
And then more than a couple Democrats who will be running / have their names on the ballot / will be running very random web videos. And then four or more (we can never tell these days) Republicans who want to be the 2nd District Congressman and at least a couple of Democrats who want the gig.
Yet all, to a certain extent is pretty quiet. At least on the media front.
Things are not blaring. Yet.
We are waiting. Waiting…
In the mean time Bob “Did you suggest invading Haiti? Are you crazy?” Kerrey has doubled down on his little Iran video to try to drum up some more dollars for his Senate campaign.
This time, Bob is asking you, YES YOU!, to sign a petition (swear to Gaia) against invading Iran! (Ohandwhileyou’reatityoucandonatetothecampaign.)
Kerrey even notes that there a news outlets calling him “bold” for his pronouncement to not put troops on the ground in Iran.
Of course he left out the dozens of publications who note how “ODD” it is for such a pronouncement when NO ONE is calling for that.
But here’s the thing. Bob is not going far enough.
No invasion of Iran?
WE call for no invasion of Iceland! Do you have any idea how freaking cold it is there? It’s cold ALL. THE. TIME. Do you have any idea the cost to outfit soldiers in those giant poofy down jackets. And then there’s ski-pants. And hats to go either over or under the helmets, and we haven’t even figured that out yet. And then the volcanoes! There’s volcanoes in Iceland! What do you think THAT is going to do to our touchy GPS systems. Wreak havoc, that’s what! So just you loose those dogs of war back into the kennel, you!
You say no one is actually talking about sending American troops into Iceland?
And your point is…?
Kids, this is what is known as a “straw man”. Where you build said man-made-out-of-straw — which, by the way is not a real man — and then you KICK the hell out of him, to show how tough you are against Straw Men! Oh, and that straw man has a sign around his neck, and it says, “Military Industrialists Who Want to March Into Tehran and Kill American GIs!”
See, there ain’t such a real person. But did you see how tough and smart Bob looked when he kicked the ever living crap out of that guy (who was made of straw)?
Senate material, huh!!?
And then there is poor Ben Nelson. Sitting in his Senate office, where every day he is forced to first put the Cornhusker Kickback Vest of Shame! It is literally a vest, that Nelson must don each morn’. It is quite shameful.
So how does Nelson get back at his foes? He rears back his righteously shamed paw and swings it at Dave Heineman! and hits… Dave Phipps?
The Douglas County Election Commissioner was simply trying to do the job the legislature told him to do — save some cash. Anyone who knows Phipps — and our guess is that Nelson has met him — knows there was never any wicked plans to try to fix elections.
But to get back at Heineman, what does Nelson do? He calls the Feds on Phipps. He calls the Feds.
Senator from Nebraska, proud son of McCook, thinks the best solution is to call up Washington, D.C. to oversee this Nebraska issue.
Hmm. Got it.
Apparently Senator Nelson has been in DC so long, that is the way he thinks things get solved everywhere.
Kind of a shame really.
Must be coming off the vest.
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